Ah, Red River Gorge(ous) Kentucky. Home of world class climbing walls, Miguel’s Pizza, and inspiring outdoor selfies galore.
In the state of Kentucky, #redrivergorgeous is the overwhelming top destination for outdoor selfies matched with overused quotes from outdoor novelist most people have never read. I have almost zero firsthand knowledge about #thegorge on purpose. Aside from a repelling trip to Indian Staircase complete with stop at Miguel’s about 12 years ago, and a couple of pathetic mountain bike rides somewhere on the outskirts of the area, I haven’t spent any time at The Gorge(ous).
Every week from the bloom of the first spring flowers to the end of pumpkin spice season, being a millennial from Kentucky myself, I’m bombarded with pictures from #RRG. I can rattle off names of trails that I’ve never been on like I’m Jeremy Jones rattling off peaks he’s hiked up and snowboarded off of. Names like Auxier Ridge, Courthouse Rock, Copperas Falls, and Cloud Splitter feel like old haunts that I would write about if I was a novelist myself. Yet I don’t know that I’ve ever stepped foot on any of those trails or laid eyes on any of those landmarks.
I’m not saying the area isn’t awesome. The Gorge’s sandstone crags are regularly touted world class (Outside: Best Climbing Areas in the US; Rock and Ice: America’s Best Climbing Area). Miguel’s Pizza is a destination all its own (Climbing: How Miguel’s Pizza Made the Red River Gorge What It Is Today). But outside of that, Slade KY is a zoo of a tourist attraction. I got to experience that firsthand this Labor Day weekend.
A family outing had us seeking trails I was confident my 5 and 9 year old niece and nephew could comfortably walk with us. After trying to find parking at two completely packed locations, we got lucky and found a spot down the road but reasonably close to the lodge. I commented that the hike looked like a manufactured path to a log ride at Dollywood, complete with people lined up the gravel path and a line of people soaking wet (with sweat) coming back down. The trail passes beneath the Natural Bridge arch where a throng of people stood taking pictures. Around the other side of the arch was a very narrow break in the rock where no less than 100 people stood awaiting the conveyor belt of people coming down off the arch to stop so that they could flip and switch and turn the conveyor up the trail.
I can’t say that it was chaos, the crowd was patient and courteous, but it was a surreal sight to turn around and see how many people were behind us. Once we gained the summit of the commanding ridge, err, I mean walked up the stairs to the top of the arch, more group photos and selfies commenced. This was my first time at the top of Natural Bridge and it was a beautiful sight, no doubt.
We’d be talking about getting Miguel’s Pizza for several days and it was all any of us could think about after a few too many bourbons the night before and empty stomachs. I’d cautioned everyone when the idea come about that it would be quite the task getting in the parking lot, much less actually score a ‘za. Unfortunately I was correct in my assumption. Miguel’s parking lot looked like Black Friday at Walmart circa 2010. Zero chance we were going to even attempt to park or satisfy that craving for delicious pizza.
Look, I don’t want to discourage people from getting outdoors. I love the outdoors myself, I just want to see it used responsibly. There’s millions of dollars that pour into places like Slade as a direct result of these recreation opportunities and I hope more of Kentucky can use the natural beauty we have here to benefit more of our people.
But I’m also very grateful that #RRG insulates the parts of Kentucky that I hold closest to my heart from the madness of these overcrowded destinations. A double-edge sword, indeed.